My family has been through many things, most of which I don't actually have details or knowledge about because I'm in Utah not Alaska. Long story short, my family lost their business, sold all the cars, all the "stuff" from the house and anything they could get some money out of. My parents and siblings finished remodeling the house, and put it up for rent while they moved into our 32 ft RV (Mom, Dad and 6 kids).While this was happening in Alaska, I was in Utah with my older brother, who came home from his mission November 2012. He met a girl and I was caught in the middle of their courtship, neither one wanting to screw up. They decided they were going to get married at the end of August and so we began the planning. The family came to Utah mid Aug. and we all (full family of 10, and my brother's then fiancee) drove to Oakland, in the RV, for the wedding on Aug. 26, 2013.With my brother now married, we came back to Utah just in time for me to begin Fall semester at BYU, while my family moved on to Idaho to take my 18 year old sister to BYU-Idaho for her freshman year.
I have never been one to enjoy change or the unknown, yet in September, I was thrown head on into a new life and I felt myself spiraling out of control. I felt no stability, no comfort and all I could think about was everything that had gone wrong. My family has been struggling and they are no longer financially stable and I can't do anything to help. My best friend just got married and now I am alone again and have no one to talk to. I can't get a steady job that will pay enough to stay living where I am., however, I had been counseled and shown I needed to stay at my current apartment, even though I couldn't afford it as comfortably anymore, but there was still something I need to learn so I stayed. I am unable to receive my FAFSA due to complications and I have no idea how I am going to cover my expenses.
Here I am now beginning November and I am looking to see the things in my life that are good. Looking at the little miracles God has given me and looking forward to how I can change and help others around me. I have a great job working head of student security on campus and am keeping busy in my church calling as Relief Society 2nd Counselor, as well as going to school full time. My three random roommates have been a new and different experience, but one of the girls and I have become very good friends. I have managed to find someone willing to buy the end of my contract, and am now in the process of finding a new place to live.
I have everything I NEED, now I am just working on understanding that I AM ENOUGH. I have the things I need an life and IF I can put my trust and Faith in my father in Heaven I will be able to see myself through his eyes. With his guidance, I will find myself and see where I will be able to go from here. As I continue moving forward and picking up the pieces of my seemingly shattered life, I will find the happiness and joy I am looking for.
